Wine'ing about Weight

For the first time in years I have stuck to my New Years resolution for more than a week. I have now accomplished two weeks and one day. This year my goal was to lose between 15 and 20 pounds before I had anything with alcohol to drink. Easy right? WRONG! Don't get me wrong, I am far from an alcoholic. I like a glass of wine with dinner or sometimes I will wait until the kids are all in bed. After all I AM the mother of 4 kids, I think that giving birth 4 times gives me certain inalienable rights doesn't it? Unfortunately, it also gave me the right to gain the 15 - 20 pounds that I am so eager to lose now. This isn't my first rodeo, I have tried this diet thing before and actually found that I had enough strength to see it through. When I was between kid 2 and kid 3 I had lost 44 pounds. I was in great shape and I felt amazing. Sadly I had done it by doing Tae-bo and using a diet pill called Metabolife which is no longer available in original form. I don't think at 40 I would want to try that again if I could. Back then I could drink a pot of coffee without even a skip to my heart. Now I have one k-cup of French Roast and I am wired. After kid 4 I had lost 30 pounds by using Alli, cutting out the majority of fat from my diet and doing pilates. Again I was true and consistent to my diet and again it had worked. This time I do not have a baby to blame it on. I have slowly over the last 4 years gained it back. The only thing that I can really blame it on is myself. Ok, so stress, unemployment on and off for three years mixed with the stress releaser known as cheap box wine could have had a lot to do with it. Its hard to eat fresh healthy meats and vegetables when the only ones you can afford are the ones that are about to turn on the seconds shelf. When I was able to find enough to cook for the family, it was the kids that had first plates of them so I was left to the meat with fat and whatever the kids didn't eat (which included tons of gravy,ketchup and butter). But to spend $6.99 on a cheap box of red wine seemed a great alternative to my sub par supper. Then at the end of that financially stressful day came that glass of "table red" because it was better than therapy. Ultimately, my jeans became tighter and tighter. I tried running it off but I was really lousy at running. I tried dieting but diet by starvation does not work for me. I have tried doing workouts off the cable but either the phone rings, the kids fight or I find another reason to stall like that desire to refresh the Facebook page "just in case". I have tried pretty much everything including a liquid diet (because it included my coveted glass of shiraz) all without any luck. This is my struggle.... and so I have resulted in this idea of a punishment diet rather than one of reward. It sounds so easy- to not drink anything with alcohol because the total weight loss is my ultimate prize. I have 15 pounds to prove before my reward. I can do this. Its not too hard. Besides its what,two or three months? Yeah right, tell that to my empty wine cabinet, my lonely wine glass and my stress level. Tell that to the kids that are fighting, the loads of laundry that need to be done, the bills that need to be paid, the husband that seems to think that "pay attention to me" is charming, the rumbling stomach that still hates that Im dieting.I wonder if AA gives out chips for this. Wait, Chips? I think I have some in the cabinet. NO- I must restrain myself! ARRRRRGGGHHH! Breathe in and breathe out....OMMMMMMMMM..... OMMMMMMMM.... oh forget THAT! Looks like tension tamer tea again for me tonight! Two weeks one day down, Two more months of tea to go.